Saturday 2 July 2016

GOSSIP::He thinks wife's cheating on him. But the truth's more shocking


There are a lot of times when we jump into
conclusion without taking a moment to think
things through and verify facts. It is in these
most neglected moments that we fail the
most. Here’s a hilarious story that will show
you why we must always verify things first
before acting.
A little girl picks up the phone.

“Hello?”
“Hi, honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the
phone?” Daddy asks.

“No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom
with Uncle Paul.”
After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But, honey, you
haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”
“Oh, yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room
with Mommy, right now.”

Dad takes a second to process this, then speaks. “Uh,
OK, then this is what I want you to do. Put the
phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock
on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy
that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the
phone. “I did it, Daddy!”

“And what happened, honey?” he asked.
“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of
bed with no clothes on and ran around
screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit
her head on the dresser and now she isn’t
moving at all!”
“Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?”
“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on,
too. He was all scared and he jumped out of
the back window and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn’t know that you took out
the water last week to clean it. He hit the
bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.”
A long, silent pause.
Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool? … Is this
486-5731?”
Did the twist shock you? Yes it’s hilarious, but it’s
also quite alarming. So be sure to verify the phone
number before asking anything or thinking your wife is
cheating on you!

GOSSIP::::::::Man pretended to have no legs in order to beg




A beggar was caught on the street of China
after a passerby refused to believe that he
was really handicapped.
When checked, the man had tucked his legs into the
back of his boxer shorts, to give the appearance that
he had no legs. He then put on a pair of trousers to
cover his hidden limbs and spend the day sitting on a
skateboard.


E get why oh especially for this buhari regime

Murder: DSS arraigns Fulani herdsmen in Rivers

Murder: DSS arraigns Fulani
herdsmen in Rivers

– The Department of State Service (DSS)
has nabbed a Fulani herdsman in Rivers
state
– The herdsman is accused of the murder of
a resident in the state
– The accused was arraigned in a
Magistrate’s Court in Port Harcourt
A Fulani herdsman was arraigned in court yesterday,
July 1 by the DSS on accusations that he murdered
a resident of Rivers state.
DSS officials
The herdsman identified as Saidu Buba allegedly
killing one Bright Iruanya in Abam community,
Okrika local government area of the state.
The herdsman and others at large were accused of
killing the Late Iruanya in on Monday, May 30,
Vanguard reports.
One of the two count charges read in part, “Saidu
Buba, adult with others still at large on or
about the 30th day of May, 2016, at Abam,
Okrika local government area within the
jurisdiction of this court did murder Bright
Iruanya by shooting him to death with a gun
and thereby committed an offence contrary to
section 316 and punishable under section 319
of the criminal code law, laws of Rivers state
of Nigeria, 1999.”
The presiding magistrate, Andrew Jaja however
adjourned the matter to Thursday, September 29.
Similarly, another magistrate B. Jamabo yesterday
adjourned to Thursday, August 11, the trial of Gospel
Lloyd, Obinna Emmanuel and others at large for the
murder of a DSS personnel named Garick Jonathan
Oyaghiri on Friday, March 18, in Obage community,
Ogba Egbema Ndoni local government area.
They accused were given two count charge of
conspiracy to murder, punishable under section 516 of
the criminal code law, laws of Rivers state of
Nigeria, 1999 and murder of the deceased by
shooting and matcheting him to death, an offence
punishable under section 319 of the criminal code
law, laws of Rivers state of Nigeria, 1999.
Meanwhile, the DSS has revealed that it has arrested
a member of the Indigenous People of Biafra
(IPOB), who was planning, alongside his
colleagues, to carry out attacks on the popular
Computer Village market in Lagos.

MANCHESTER UNITED SIGN ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIĆ

MANCHESTER UNITED SIGN
ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIĆ


Manchester United is delighted to announce the
signing of Swedish international striker Zlatan
Ibrahimović.
Ibrahimović, 34, made 180 appearances for Paris Saint-
Germain, scoring 156 goals. He has won championships in
four different leagues since beginning his professional career
with Malmo in 1999. Zlatan represented his country 116
times, scoring 62 goals, before announcing his retirement
from international football last month.
Zlatan Ibrahimović said:
"I am absolutely delighted to be joining Manchester
United and am looking forward to playing in the Premier
League. It goes without saying that I cannot wait to
work with Jose Mourinho once again. He is a fantastic
manager and I am ready for this new and exciting
challenge. I have thoroughly enjoyed my career so far
and have some great memories. I am now ready to create
more special memories in England."
Jose Mourinho said:
"Zlatan needs no introduction. The statistics speak for
themselves. Ibra is one of the best strikers in the world
and a player who always gives 100 per cent. He has won
the most important league championships in the world of
football, now he has the opportunity to play in the best
league in the world and I know he will grasp this
opportunity and will work hard to help the team win
titles. I am certain that his talent will delight fans at Old
Trafford next season and that his experience will be
invaluable in helping to develop the younger players in the
squad."